So lately I have been a little down in the dumps. Maybe it is because I don't have many close friends here. I have my friend M, who has been a lifesaver. Not only is she a great mommy, but she is a great friend. She lets me vent, bitch, or just share happy news with her. It's so nice to have someone that can vent to me, but also let me vent to her. Not all my friends are that way. M & her family have become extended family to Jeff & me. We watch their 1 year old about once a week and both her kids call us Aunt & Uncle. It's so nice. We do have two nephews of our own, but it is still nice to be able to share our love with another family as well.
So why my post about friends? Maybe because I wish I had more in this area. Friends that I could go to dinner with, have a drink with, just sit & chat, scrapbook, or whatever :) I love the fact that I have so many "friends" that I have never met! I love the fact that they feel like I have known them forever! I know that the day I do meet any of them will be a great day. Many of these wonderful ladies are in the adoption process or have already adopted. They are a great source of strength, encouragement, and love. I think about my "boardies" all the time. I have a few friends that have children that I still keep in touch with. One is C & the other is J. Both had difficulties TTC, C finally was able to get pregnant and J adopted a newborn. Both of these ladies have been a saving grace! They keep me sane, keep me smiling, & keep me focused...They know who they are and I Love them both! I cannot wait to do some traveling so that I can finally meet them both face-to-face!
Recently a new "secret" group was started on Facebook for those from Ivillage who had graduated from the TTC boards. Someone "accidentally" invited me and then removed me because "I am not a parent" and let me tell you...THAT HURT. It was just another reminder that Jeff & I have not become parents yet. I was part of the Ivillage community for a long time, supporting & encouraging these women & all of a sudden I am no longer allowed to keep tabs on them (since most don't use Ivillage anymore). It really angered me. I felt like I was being shunned for suffering from infertility. It doesn't bother me to see pregnant women..I've dealt with it a long time. I just wish that people would be more considerate. I would love to be a part of this "secret" group, not only to keep up with everyone who has growing babies but also to keep up with those who are TTC again, or even to seek advice when I do become pregnant.
I am not really bitter. I am just upset & sometimes it bothers me when people dwell on the fact that I am not yet a mom. I will be a mom, just in God's time. I am leaving it to Him and that is all we can do.
So please...remember to treat your infertile friends with respect. If you are afraid of saying something that may hurt your friend, or if it would have hurt you when you were still TTC, don't say it.
Now for my infertile friends...just a little something to make you smile. You might be an infertile if....(click here)
Live, Laugh, Blog
You know I love you!! HUGE hugs! I have been there! You know our journey! I impatiently wait for the day that you email me to say ... IM GONNA BE A MOM!!!
ReplyDeleteI have to tell you I feel the same, I have so many more "online" friends that get me, support me and don't walk all over me. They are true friends that I wish I could have coffee with! (well tea since I don't drink coffee) As for the facebook group, I was a part of it for a week and I felt lost, left out and unheard which was sad to me. I am going on a year TTC again and I felt like no one wanted to hear it or help and they were all to busy being pg again or not wanting to go back to that place... Which I don't blame TTC is NEVER a place you would want to go, but those ladies were my life line the first time and I was looking for a little support again... Hang in there and I am here whenever you need an extra little vent session or just want someone to talk to!
ReplyDeleteKellee,
ReplyDeleteWe see you and Jeff as a part of our family, there isn't anything we wouldn't do for the two of you. You are such a huge help to us, and the boys love you both so much!
HUGS
Ouch! That would hurt. You WILL be a parent though, and a great one too...maybe a better one that you would have been because of all you have gone through to get there.
ReplyDeleteI thank God often for the internet because many of my dear friends are there in the adoption group...I know I can tell them anything and not be judged, and everyone there 'gets it'. We are so lucky to have such awesome support...if only we could just get them all to move to our state!